Two Eastside Poets Talking

Intro

Even though we live, generally speaking, on the same side of town, the reader may think the title presumptuous to include myself with one of the 'great ones.' But aren't we all great in the eyes of God? With that in mind, I approached the author of Thermonucleardynamicpoetics, introduced myself and proceeded to tape the following interview without his permission.

-Who?
-It doesn't matter. I'd just like to ask you few questions.
-Ah, you want to have a dialogue!
-Yes, like in the famous poem of your, "It Takes Two To Tango."
-I remember it well. Won the Abracadabra Award for being the best poem ever written while in a state of alcohol-induced intoxication.
-I didn't know that.
-O yes! You see, I had been living in Algeria at the time, just before the war, and it struck me that it made no sense being sober.
-I see. But your later work strikes me as being incredibly dry and arid.
-Well, that's the thing, you see. After the war, I switched to diet-coke.
-That would explain why some critics have complained that you have sold out.
-Not necessarily.
-Care to expound on that?
-Let's just say that a sober poet is resented is some quarters.
-I personally prefer your "dry" period as there seems to be too much excitement in the world today. Let's face it, people are going crazy--especially the young. They need an older wiser and even, if you don't mind me saying so, a boring influence.
-Well, let's not overdo it, but I know what you mean--or should I say: where you're coming from? Ha, ha, ha. 

(At this point of the interview, I forced myself to laugh).

-I can't catch my breath! Now, certain critics have said that you're basically just on a big ego trip. I don't see it that way. I just think that greatness is conferred upon some of us by the gods. How do you see it? By the way, that was funny.
-What did you say your name was? O, it doesn't matter, I suppose. Well that's a difficult question to answer as I'm sure you appreciate the intricacies involved in not wanting to sound conceited on the one hand and not wanting to break my fans' hearts on the other. Basically, I'm one of the biggest phonies who ever lived--but notice, it takes a great man to say that! Hey, what's that humming noise? What is this, Candid Camera? Hey, come back here! What are you afraid of? We can edit it together. Don't destroy the illusion that has taken me years to build up! Young man, image is everything!

(So is the truth, Mr. Great Man!)
Published by The Iconoclast, issue number 21, issn 1064-1777, Editor/Publisher/Lackey--Phil Wagner, Technical Assistence--Maryann Sherry Wagner, 1675 Amazon Road, Mohegan Lake, NY 10547